Friday, 20 December 2013

কোনও অজানা কবির লেখা

"দিয়েছি তাকে - নিয়েছে সব - মেটেনি তার ক্ষুধা
সে আছে এক জন্ম ভিখারিনী
দু'হাত পেতে রয়েছে আজও, অনির্বচনীয়
চিকুর মেলে সুদূরে নন্দিনী

প্রথমে তাকে দিয়েছি ঠোঁট তবুও বলে চাই
নিবিড়তম পাতা সে অঞ্জলি
অতঃপর ছিলায় টান ধনুকে জুড়ি শর
দু'চোখ আমি উপড়ে তুলে আনি

দিলাম তাকে - শ্রবণ দিয়ে বধির হয়ে যাই
বাড়িয়ে তবু সোনালি হাতখানি
শ্রবণহীন অন্ধতায় ভাষণহীন আমি
সূর্য ফোটে ফুলেরা অবিকল
তখনও তার সম্প্রসার দীর্ঘায়িত হাত -
এবারে দাও আত্মা থেকে জল।"

 

The trick of Blogging

So, now I know. Here is, what it is. The *secret* of unveiling the writer in you!! Read on...


You need to make a page.

You need to tell your mind, it's yours.

You need to call it a  friend.

You need to trust the page.

No matter who visits and who never minds, You need to come back to it. Always.

Tell it all your stories, your thoughts.

Give it a piece of your mind. If possible, regularly.




And thus, slowly, eventually, your mind will start talking to it. Your thoughts will start taking a shape in words.

They will create. A Blog will be formed. A writer will be born...

See, I got it!

:)

মৃত্যু

একধাপ দুধাপ করে নেমে আসছি আমি
খাদের খাড়া পথ
অতলান্ত অন্ধকার।

স্বল্প পরিসর
ঘাড় তলার চেষ্টা নেহাতই বৃথা
ফুসফুস নিংড়ে অক্সিজেনের তৃষ্ণাটা
ক্রমশই অসহ্য হয়ে উঠছে।

চাইছি ভুলে যেতে
প্রাণপণে ঠেলে সরিয়ে দিচ্ছি যত পুরনো স্মৃতি
মিথ্যে সব!

আর,
সেই বিস্মৃতির গভীর থেকে
বিচ্ছুরিত হচ্ছে এক চুম্বকের তীব্রতা
আমাকে টেনে নামাচ্ছে
নীচে, আরো নীচে,
আরো আরো নীচে।

মনটা একটু একটু করে গুঁড়িয়ে
একমুঠো ধুলো।

প্রতিরোধ সব অবশ হয়ে এলো
বাকশক্তি বাকি নেই আর
দৃষ্টি ফ্যাকাশে
নিঃশ্বাস ক্ষীণ
স্পন্দন  নিঃশেষ

আমার অস্তিত্ব থেকে একটা একটা করে প্রতিটা অণু-পরমাণু
নিষ্প্রাণ, নিস্তেজ হয়ে খসে পড়ছে।

আর,
দু ফোঁটা, মাত্র দু ফোঁটা গরল
শান্তিদূত হয়ে -
আমার জীবনে জীবন্ত থেকে জীবন্ততর হয়ে উঠছে।


 

আদিমতায়

মন থেকে আজ ছিঁড়ে যাক মনন
ওষ্ঠ থেকে যত ভাষা
দেহ থেকে খসে পড়ুক আবরণ
বেঁচে থাকা থেকে সরে দাঁড়াক সমাজ
ছাদটা উড়ে চলে যাক
লুপ্ত হোক স্বজনতার ভিড়
আকাশ থেকে নির্বাসনে যাও, তুমি চাঁদ।

আজ,
একবার,
আদিম ভাবে বাঁচব।
 

শেষ সপ্তক > আঠারো

আমরা কি সত্যই চাই শোকের অবসান ?

   আমাদের গর্ব আছে নিজের শোককে নিয়েও ।

          আমাদের অতি তীব্র বেদনাও

                    বহন করে না স্থায়ী সত্যকে—

                       সান্ত্বনা নেই এমন কথায় ;

        এতে আঘাত লাগে আমাদের দুঃখের অহংকারে ।
..........

সকল অহংকারই বন্ধন ,

    কঠিন বন্ধন আপন শোকের অহংকার ।

         ধন জন মান সকল আসক্তিতেই মোহ ,

                  নিবিড় মোহ আপন শোকের আসক্তিতে ।


So brutally honest. So Tagore!

Thursday, 19 December 2013

মাধবীলতা

আমি মাধবীলতা হতে চেয়েছিলাম। কেন জানি না। হয়তো অপরিণত ছিলাম, তাই। তাই মাধবীলতার কষ্ট, ওর একা একা যুদ্ধ করা, দিঘির মত চোখ, ওই অসম্ভব মনের জোর - এগুলো সব খুব রোমান্টিক লাগতো। মনে হতো, ভালবাসলে এইভাবেই ভালবাসতে হয়। এইভাবেই জীবনটা দিয়ে দিতে হয়। এইভাবেই নিজের কথা একদম না ভেবে অন্যজনের কথা ভাবতে হয়। আর এইতো সামান্য একটা জীবন। প্রাণপণে ভালবাসতে পারলে দেখতে দেখতে কেটে যাবে। আফসোস করার অবকাশ কোথায়?

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Jennifer

Every single time that I read Segal's "Love Story", I become Jennifer Cavilleri. No, true. I swear. I even compel myself to slow down, read not more than just a few pages a time, so that I can stay Jennifer for a longer time. I wish I could stay Jennifer, always.

Like, I want to be as smart, as no-nonsense, as she is. To have a reply at the end of my tongue, always. And, at the same time, tender.

"Hey, Jen..."
"Yeah?"
"Jen... what would you say if I told you..."
I hesitated. She waited.
"I think... I'm in love with you."
There was a pause. Then she answered very softly.
"I would say... you were full of shit."

I also have always wanted to make love like her.

"Jenny, for Christ's sake, how can I read John Stuart Mill when every single second I'm dying to make love to you?"
She screwed up her brow and frowned.
"Oh, Oliver, wouldja please?"
I was crouching by her chair. She looked back into her book.
"Jenny - "
She closed her book softly, put it down, then placed her hands on the sides of my neck.
"Oliver - wouldja please?"

And then, give in. Suddenly. Without logic and without preparation. Well, whatsoever!

"Who said anything about marriage?"
"Me. I'm saying it now."
You want to marry me?"
"Yes."
She tilted her head, did not smile, but merely inquired:
"Why?"
I looked her straight in the eye.
"Because," I said.
"Oh," she said. "that's a very good reason."

Oh, and my father and me!

"The bride speaks too?" he asked, almost as if this - of all things - might be the coup de grace.
"Phillip," said his daughter, "could you imagine any situation in which I would shut up?"
"No, baby," he replied, working up a tiny smile. "I guess you would have to talk."

And I wanted to conquer. Like her. Yes, even with mean means, like this:

"Are you jealous?" I asked straight out.
"No; I've got much better legs," she said.
"Can you write a brief?"
"Can she make lasagna?"
"Yes," I answered. "Matter of fact, she brought some over t Gannett House tonight. Everybody said they were as good a your legs."
Jenny nodded, "I'll bet."
"What do you say to that?" I said.
"Does Bella Landau pay your rent?" she asked.
"Damn," I replied, "why can't I ever quit when I'm ahead?"
"Because, Preppie," said my loving wife, "you never are."

These, and many things. Almost everything save for few, I guess.

And, even at thirty-two, I wait to die at twenty-five. Still.

"Would you please hold me very tight?" she asked.
I put my hand on her forearm - Christ, so thin - and gave it a little squeeze.
"No, Oliver," she said, "really hold me. Next to me."
I was very, very careful - of the tubes and things - as I got onto the bed with her and put my arms around her.
"Thanks, Ollie."

Those were her last words.


Well, I know it's an utterly stupid thought, and a ridiculously written out post. But I cannot help it.

And I am not saying sorry. Because,

Love means not ever having to say you are sorry.



PS: I know it's height of narcissism, but really, isn't it the best thing to happen to anyone? To be loved so, so much?

বাড়ি

তুমি এসো, এসে আমাকে নিয়ে যাও। বকো, মারো, কান ধরে দরজার বাইরে দাঁড় করিয়ে দাও, আর তারপর ডেকে নিয়ে অনেক, অনেক আদর করে দাও। অনেক। আমাকে রাজকন্যা বলে ডাকো। পরীদের গল্প বলে ঘুম পাড়িয়ে দাও। বলো, কাল আর অফিস যেতে হবেনা।

মন খারাপের কথা

কবিতা লিখতে ভুলে গেছি
ছবি আঁকতে ইচ্ছে করেনা
গল্পের বইয়ে মন বসছে না

আর কি কি হলে মৃত্যুটা সম্পূর্ণ হবে?
 

Book Journey - Big Apple 2 Bites, A novel of Love, 9/11 and Aikido

With a multitude of philosophical yet practical realisations at play, I am a little confused on where to start this essaying. So safe as it has always been, here comes a quote to set the onset. A sign-off at the end of one of those many letters that finally takes the theme of the story to its zenith.
 
"Yours truly in a false world,
Sen"

The story is about a young man, Sen as he is popularly called, and his journey through few brief years of his mid-prime. A young man on an onsite stint, his very practical take on his job and a rather impractical journey in love, and of the world called the United States as seen through his eyes.

But that is just the surface of it. And then, the story is also a dive into life, and with no escape. It dissects, explores and admits the ultimate truth of Dichotomy, Lies and make-beliefs that we live our lives on. The protagonist portrays, rather personifies, cynicism to an artistic level. And as the story unfolds, the author brings forth how layers of Lies and Truths interplay in life. As very rightly termed, it forms a state of "confused convictions".

The reading, or rather the ride, can be best described as a set of complex realisations. It strips your mind off the everyday hypocrisies, it pulls you by your inner conscience to face, finally, you own self. It asks you what you really wanted and tells what you denied yourself. But then, it trivializes; it relieves you of the weight. It says, perhaps, that nothing matters at the end. That - yes, we succumb, but that's acceptable. It threatens, and then it comforts. It exposes how shallow, meaningless it is to do what we all do all day every day, and how our lives are being wasted. But it then refrains from glorifying the other end. It warns of losing balance, a balance finely defined by the rules of lies that we live our lives with. Confused? Convincingly? Then, take this -

"Take my case. I make a very decent living selling processes to companies - a nauseating, dull way of making money full of loads and load of dhop one has to go through each day. But, why do I do it? Because I am not prepared to stand in a queue to get my single bucket of water for having a bath."

Scarily similar to you and me, no?

BUT. Then comes where I slightly disagree, as the protagonist goes on to say:

"And if I were born in this country, I would have loved to be a librarian... some job like that where you can literally spend your life among books. Because I know, even as a low wage earning professional, I would have a decent life. With my basic necessities satisfied."

Makes sense, and yet it doesn't. At least, not until we have defined these apparently juvenile terms like "decent life" and "basic necessities". Rather as we all know, the problem is not in defining them, but to remain content and constant at those definitions as you journey through your life. I know, I know, I sound like a cynic. Perhaps a little more than Sen himself. But then, for argument's sake, is everyone in the West content with their choices in life, huh? :)

Coming back to the novel.

I loved how the author has tried to ease up, if not simplify, our perspectives around the day-to-day complexities of work-life. I am happy that he did not resort to doing that also for our day-to-day non work-life. Of the matters of heart, and of friendships. Which, again that a cynic that I am, is perhaps meant only for a relief, not a reality, right?

I particularly liked the way 9/11 has been treated. Compassion, and at the same time, from a respectful distance. Something that as outsiders, we perhaps would never understand, even though we could be physically around the place incidentally around the same time. I did not understand much, but also liked, how Aikido has been explained and related back to nuances of life.

I loved how Hope has been weaved in, in this apparently cynic take on life. How, even as an escape, it helps to believe, that there is, indeed, another world, somewhere. There, things could be easier, truer. The quantum physics theory of multiple universes. Like Sen says in his letter to Allison,

"I will be glad just to fantasise that in some other parallel universe, chances were more in our favour."

And then signs off with -

"Yours in a parallel Universe,
Sen"


Semi-finally, what I loved a lot in the style of writing is the second-person narration. Unique, enjoyable, and seemed to optimise the distance and familiarity between the author and his protagonist. It's like sort of knowing a person at arm's distance, reading all his thoughts and expressions and yet not getting into the skin. Perfect. It seemed to act as conscience at times, too.

Finally, the humour content. I think it won't be an exaggeration to say that if philosophy is one pillar in this, humour is the other, just as strong. And each, without being balanced out by the other would not cook up the recipe that it is. . The humour is subtle and apt. It does not distract. It only helps to put things in perspective. In fact, without the humour, the reality the author drags us to face could have been too stark to stand. It also helps us to think that many things can be stood, bore, self-admitted and lived with, if we present them to ourselves in the light of humour.

Life is too serious to be talked about seriously, no? :)

And then, I come to my takeaway.

At the cost of simplifications, let's give it a shot. Well, Dichotomy (or rather Confusion), in short, is the problem we have to live with. There is no one answer to anything. Dichotomy remains the only reality, and there is hardly a way we can flee. And hence, as I personally conclude, detachment, possibly, is then the only answer! Laugh it away, that is.

Oh, and the "Corporate-cosmic chi of dhop". Classic!

As I sign-off, here is another of the many quotable lines that stays with me as I close on the last page of this pleasurable journey.

"In all this falsehood, there are moments when you wonder whether there is anything that is true in this world, anything not shrouded by the cloak of counterfeit. And when you do experience something that's true, you are afraid of it... It's almost too pure to survive."